I hope all is well in Cyberland for all of my readers! Be sure to have a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving where ever you are. Be thankful for your health, family and friends this Holiday Season! And most of all good luck with your Black Friday Shopping! Do your best to help stimulate our economy, ’cause the government is not doing a damn thing!
Archive for November, 2008
With Thanksgiving right around the corner, have a wonderful day! Oh and keep your giblets out of the gravy…. Ooops, what am I saying….I don’t seem to have any giblets anymore……where did they go? A side effect of weight loss surgery I guess?
Ok, I haven’t ranted lately, I’m past due now. Here we go. I’ve been thinking lately. The economy, the world, the war, the recent election, the holidays….well it is none of the above.
What makes me satisfied in this world? It is cold here now and I’m losing the weight I wanted, but now I’m freakin’ cold all the time. I think I may be experiencing the start of some sort of nutritional deficits or something weird. My eyes are really dry, my body is shrinking, my energy level is lower than it has been. I have having dizzy spells, and feel like falling over sometimes while working out. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. I vowed to myself that when I had this surgery I would not complain, after all I’m the one that made this conscious decision to have this life-altering surgery. So why, you ask am I’m bitching? Well it’s my self expression blogness and I can bitch if I want to. Perhaps I am experiencing some sort of self torture phase. I no longer get any enjoyment from eating and when I tell people that, they just don’t understand. Food is no longer good to me. Yes, sometimes it tastes good, but it continues to cause nausea, vomiting and stomach pain weekly. It has been almost 21 weeks post op and I still feel like it has only been a couple of weeks.
Another struggle, I am currently facing are the holidays. I need to take a break from all “old” lifestyle routines and be prepared to deal with these problems like head hunger. My family and friends have been great about trying to understand, but I don’t think that they have a really clue. What is it like when you can’t eat what you want to? Well it sucks to put it mildly. Like being served a life sentence of bread and water….well not really I can’t eat bread! But you get the the drift? Food evokes memories and memories are sometimes brought out by the foods we eat. How does one create new holiday memories that don’t directly involve food? It will continue to be a struggle, and I have no choice but to move forward. Sometimes less, is more.
I’m feeling quite frustrated today, so here’ is what I’m suggesting y’all do for the up coming holiday! In the meantime I’m getting plenty of sleep to be up early for our 30th Anniversary of Black Friday Mania!
Happy Manic Monday! I hate the Holiday Season…..I’ll post why next time!
Well just when you think things are somewhat better. They are not. I mean with my post surgical stomach or pouch I should say. Most days are better now, but last night was an exception….of suffering. I will tell it like it is. Like it or not! I dietary habits have changed drastically, I prefer eating healthy nutritious foods. Sometimes I have cravings like any human being. Well the two nights I have craved pizza. I have not had pizza since our trip to Italy in June! I have managed without it and figured it was time to try. So I created a master piece out of whole wheat/flax tortilla wraps. An 8 inch one to be exact. Toasted it in the oven for a couple minutes, added pizza sauce, 2% cheese, turkey pepperoni, and mushrooms. It looked, tasted and went down excellently. Then it hit…about 15 minutes later. Oh boy, I knew I was in trouble. To the bathroom I ran, just in time to lose my dinner. Anyone that has had weight loss surgery knows, how difficult it is to vomit…….it is the worse feeling in the world. My craving for pizza soon vanished as I crawled into my bed and sipped some tea to calm the beast within.
In the past week, we have elected a new President, have proposed budgets cuts at work, have had an employee to deal with. I’m ready for another vacation….or to pull my hair out.
Today mark’s nineteen weeks post op for me and I’m down 84 pounds so far. I feel great. More energetic. More stamina. And a whole lot more healthy in general. My workout routine continues and I’m exploring options for healthier eating during the holidays. I’ll have to pass on the turkey as I can’t keep fowl products down the hatch. So maybe I’ll have to opt for a seafood dish of some sort. in the meantime I keep plugging away at my success. It is always difficult to explain this process to someone who does not understand all that I have gone through. Most days are good now, but it sure has been a struggle both physically and emotionally. But I continue….
“The truth of the matter is that there’s nothing you can’t accomplish if: (1) You clearly decide what it is that you’re absolutely committed to achieving, (2) You’re willing to take massive action, (3) You notice what’s working or not, and (4) You continue to change your approach until you achieve what you want, using whatever life gives you along the way.” Anthony Robbins
So this week here at work has been brutal. Budget cuts ahead…in fact $150 million for the State. Not sure where that puts us, but we shall see. I’m worried because I used to be a stressoholic/foodoholic. I admit. So I have had some of my very first challenges this week. On the scale I hit a whopping -84 pounds this week. But head hunger has hit for the first time. I have made the necessary adaptations but somehow, they just aren’t fulfilling my cravings you see! The holiday’s are coming and I love to cook. But I have pretty much decided to only make a few of my “famous” goodies and to give to family and friends. I am tackling the demons within, and it “ain’t” easy. In the meantime I go to the gym 6 days a week and work out for an hour to an hour and a half at a time. Thank goodness to my dear friend Anne, who accompanies me every night. In the meantime I just keep plugging away. This too shall pass….I think?