Well, a year has passed since the major changes in my life. I told friends and family that I would wait a year before indicating whether or not I would do this over again or not. I still can’t answer the question with an honest answer. As a matter of fact, it has not been easy for me. Making a tough decision to change one’s life so extremely is never and easy decision. Often times I am not happy to have done this; however, I am happy with the results. Happy to have shed 133 pounds and have lost over 80 inches off my body. Happy to have chosen to live life again and not just sit on the sidelines watching. Happy to be able travel freely. Happy to be able to choose my destiny. Happy to be able to be much more decisive and confident in my choices. 52 weeks ago today, I was not the same person I am today. What I did, is not for the faint of heart, in fact it is not for everyone.
This year I spent a lot of time pondering, reflecting and judging myself. I spent a lot of time wondering why I had made such a dramatic decision to change myself. I spent a lot of time suffering both physically and emotionally. No one can ever prepare you for all the changes I’ve encountered. Or the physical sickness, such as pain and or vomiting. Countless nights of no sleep. Countless hours spent bent over the porcelain throne. Countless mealtimes wondering “why?” I have lost friends over my decision. BUT, I can’t go back. I can only forge ahead. I miss my two friends that have chosen not to follow me and my dreams. But I can’t change this either. I can’t go back…..to the place I used to know as “normal”. I can only go ahead. I am ok with that. Only time will tell.