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Archive for the ‘life’ Category

Summer is winding down

 

San Gimignano, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

No, I haven’t not fallen off the earth. Just a very busy summer that is now winding down here in Maine. A lot has happened since my last post, so I will update you all soon!

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More bad news…

 

colors, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it sometimes does. I have some news to share with my readers… My mom and I have been through tough times the past 2.5 years. She is battling papillary thyroid cancer and is having her radioactive iodine treatment this week. She has had to be on a low iodine diet for two weeks, which has been really tough. Iodine is in almost everything! But hopefully she will have great results with the ablation of another thyroid cancer cells.

Well last week, I received some bad news myself. After having some “stomach” problems over the last several months, I went to my doctor for some testing. Turns out, I have very large mass growing in my pelvis, which could be ovarian cancer. I am shocked and saddened. After Ct Scans, Ultrasounds, and MRI’s they are still not sure if it is malignant or benign. So I will have it all removed next Tuesday May 8th. I am still stunned by all this and have tried to remain focused on my mom’s treatment as well as my own. I will keep you posted cyber-friends.  In the meantime, I will look forward to traveling to Italy in June! 🙂

 

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Mom and emma, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

For every good moment in life there must be a bad one. I am struggling with life an its harsh reality. I ask why, but get no answer. And I want to scream. My mom has been ill for the past 2.5 years after surviving a stroke. Then she lost the sight in her right eye permanently and will have to have the eye removed at some point. Then last month she was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer. On February 28, 2012 she had a total thyroidectomy and lymph node exploration. We thought things were ok on that day, as the surgeon came out and said it looks good, “its not in her lymph nodes”. She would then be scheduled for RAI or radioactive iodine ablation therapy in 6 weeks.  Or so we thought.

It is amazing how quickly things can change in life. You can get sucked up into a vortex any day and things will be never the same.  A week after her surgery we received a call form the surgeon, “there is a problem with the results of the specimen. The pathologist needs further testing to rule out another form of thyroid cancer. Potentially a rare much more aggressive anaplastic thyroid cancer.  “Wait, that’s not what you told us!”  I cant believe this is happening…the dreaded “C” word.  My mother is what is left of my childhood, she was the one the cured all my illness, listened to my rants, always made things better for me or at least it seemed that way. Now as a “middle aged” woman I have become the “mother”, our roles are reversed. I no longer have my “mom” or at least they way she was three years ago. I am now the caretaker. I am the mother, the one that makes things better. And it sucks. I am angry. I am so upset to have been dealt this hand that mother has. But it is not about me.  I only want to protect her from the harsh reality of life, as a mother does their own child.  I have always been able to control the situation but now I can’t we must wait for the plan from the surgeon and endocrinologist.  I still want to scream.

The pit of my stomach, or what is left to it is in fury. It agonizes for strength to stay strong and not cry. I must be the mother, I must the strong one.

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Day Dreamin’

 

salty dog, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

Life is bound to get better…right? Life does have the tendency to throw us curveballs…but we must get by them. Three in one week, is a bit too much though.

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Looking forward to 2012

 

ice on cedar, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

I have not yet felt inspired to blog about the new year yet, so I will leave you with a winter photo for now! Hope you all rang in the New Year in Peace!

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hope, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

Hope…A little word with big meaning when you don’t have it.

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yellow faces, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

Summer has been fantastic so far this year. The weather is perfect. Last night, I sat out on the steps just before dark admiring the quietness, the smell of the grass and my bounty of fresh sweet basil that I had just picked. I wish every evening could contain the sweetness and simplicity of a summer night.

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