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My stomach is in knots today

August 14, 2008

all tied up, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

Yes, I having a rough 24 hours. Not a good 24 hours for eating. My esophagus feels like crawling out of my throat. On the other hand my cardio workouts are going great, I’ve worked up to a full 65 minutes on the treadmill, ergonometer, supine bike, and the rowing ergonometer. Next week, I hopefully will get clearance for the weight and resistance training. I wish I was Michael Phelps and was able to consume a whopping 12,000 calories before a workout..hehehehe! Instead I’m lucky to be able to get in around 400 calories a day!

I can’t wait to see my husband. We have not seen each other since June, so he has not witnessed the amazing results post op. He arrives home tomorrow night! ;)

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I’m still waiting…

August 11, 2008

rode hard, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

Hello all. Today is another Monday, six weeks ago I embarked on a new adventure in life. Although I am still waiting to feel “better” after surgery my life has taken on some major changes. I have joined a local gym and have been working out with a personal trainer and doing cardio for now about 45 minutes to one hour per day, a total of five days per week. I am ashamed to admit, but I “LIKE” it. I actually enjoy going there every night and meeting my workout partner Anne. Before long I will probably bring out my mountain bike. Next week I have another post op check and I am hoping to be able to start with weights and resistance training. As far as my eating is concerned…It is still a sore spot for me. Still not able to take in much, if any, solid protein yet. I’ve been having cravings though.

This week’s craving include:
A grilled burger with fresh mozzarella and big slab of tomato.
Still craving BBQ ribs
Fresh corn on the cob
SALAD…how about a caprese? Yumm

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It’s a strange world indeed.

August 7, 2008

a strange world, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about life. My life in general. I have been through tremendous changes over the last 7 weeks both physically and mentally. I have survived moments of temporary insanity. But i have pulled through. While both my body and my spirit heals itself, this has not been an easy challenge for me. But things are looking up.

Recently I have started working out at a local gym with a friend of mine. She indeed has been a friend for years, she too has had struggles in life. Especially over the last year and a half since she lost her sister to a battle with breast cancer. But she has come out a stronger person as well. She motivates me and encourages me to continue and when I’m having a difficult day she always inspires me. She is a strong woman, stronger than she imagines herself to be. But she keeps me going.

Life is about choices, some good some not so good; however we must continue, after all we don’t’ have any other options! Not everyone in my life has been so encouraging to me as my friend Anne. The naysayers are all around. I hear it everyday. Some days I can’t help but getting sucked into the vicious cycle of negativity. Sucked in like a vortex….waiting to be suddenly released. Then whoooosh, I’m spinning out of control. ‘Nuff said

Things I’m craving today: a grilled hamburger with fresh lettuce tomatoes, pasta, bbq’d ribs, buffalo wings, and lots of fresh corn on the cob…I think that is all!   :)

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It’s like climbing a wall.

August 5, 2008

emma climbing, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

Well here is another week. My recovery is still in progress, sans any improvement since my last update. I had an UGI series last week and was contacted by my surgeon on Saturday night at home, that my “new stomach” looked okay, but the area where it empties, is very small. So I have to wait 7 more weeks to see rather I need to have it dilated. So I will continue with liquids, liquids, and more liquids including yogurt. I am trying to justify this self-inflicted pain I have caused myself to have (well not literally). I made a decision, now I have to keep on track and stay focused over the next few weeks.

In the meantime, I keep having a recurring dream of returning to Italy. Even though a trip to Italy has not even been booked yet; however, I am hoping to go camping with my beloved husband when he comes home on the 15th. *WINK* if I don’t have enough energy to set up a campsite, then perhaps we could hop on the next flight to Florence!

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Talking Cats….

August 1, 2008

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My new found friend

July 29, 2008

Okay my new found frustration with food has forced me to try other options. I have always loved yogurt of any kind especially Stonyfield Farms organic yogurt. I like mine thick and creamy, and mostly flavored. I read recently that Greek yogurt has a higher amount of protein per serving than regular yogurt. I have recently been living on yogurt an milk products, so I took it one step further and decided on buying some Greek yogurt. Now in the past I have eaten Fage Greek yogurt, but I am unable to purchase it where I live, so it is not a viable option. So when I spotted this Oikos Greek Yogurt by Stonyfield Farms I had to try it. Results: GREAT! I’ve been adding a tablespoon of local Maine Made Maple Syrup to it and WOW, it rocks. I am experimenting on some smoothies as well. It is not he same as chewing on a rack on baby back ribs, but it will suit me at least til I am able to consume more solid food anyway.

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Another time to whine….

July 28, 2008

fresh off the vine, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

Ok this is getting somewhat ridiculous. I am so tied of living on fluids for the last almost 6 weeks. I miss veggies and fruits so much. My favorite time of the year for fresh fruit and veggies and I’m missing it. I already missed local fresh strawberries and peas last month. I’m hoping I have an answer tomorrow as to why I can’t eat anything solid, 4 weeks post op. Ugh! I promise the whining will soon stop, whining does not become me very well. I am so looking forward to going camping in 2 weeks, it won’t be pretty carrying around yogurt, milk and protein powders in to the woods. I’m off my soapbox for today!

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Coping……….

July 25, 2008

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; or in my case I’d rather it be Limoncello. I’m have a slightly disappointing day in my recovery. I’m slowly sipping my liquids and dreamin’ of Italy. The photo was taken outside of our hotel in Tuscany in the lush gardens surrounding the area. Today I would travel back there in a heartbeat. The rolling hills, magnificent vistas, golden meadows, picturesque mountains…you get the picture? But instead I have to revert back to the virtual Italian world of my photos. Please feel free to enjoy them on my Flickr page, located on the right hand side of this post.

I pray for relief of my post op issues and to be able to enjoy the fruits of life once again!

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100% perfection…well that is what I wanted.

July 24, 2008

100% perfection, originally uploaded by The Rambling Rountrees.

I like to expect perfection you know. 100% that is. Well not this time. For the last week post op, I was told to go ahead and try the next phase of foods, which includes “soft protein”. Well I’m not a complainer by nature, but my husband may tell you otherwise that I am, I have experienced nothing but trouble. Trouble with a capital “T”. My stomach seems to reject food with any solidity to it. I am so sick of drinking protein powder shakes and yogurt, but if I don’t things don’t sit well in “Nelly”. I am frustrated to say the least. I call my surgeon’s office with my concerns and have been scheduled for a series of tests on Tuesday of next week. I have to wait another week to see if I am developing a “stricture”.

I know nothing is ever guaranteed to go as expected it, but I wanted perfection. Things to just be perfect in my recovery, but they are not. So I will continue to sip my iced tea and yogurt, and I’ll hold my horses till next week….then I will begin to get angry if I don’t have answers.

“Perfection is finally attained not when there is no longer anything to add but when there is no longer anything to take away, when a body has been stripped down to its nakedness” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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I told you I’d tell you.

July 22, 2008

Okay, so you wanted more. You had to know. So here is the story. My life as I knew it has changed drastically over the last three weeks. It all began on Monday June 30th. I had been preparing for this day for over 10 months. I wanted this. So the day came, and my life changed forever.

I arrived at the hospital at 8:50am sharp for a 9:15 am appointment to check in. As I arrived I was given forms to fill out and told to wait in the marked area until my name was called. I was quickly called and led into the back room, where I was given a pathetic hospital gown and slippers to put on. My vital signs where taken and then I was told I could wait in another waiting area and was allowed for my family members to come in with me. We sat and chatted nervously and I called my husband to say I’d talk to him later in the day. Before I knew it my time had come….an OR nurse came out and asked me to back into another room with her where she would begin to prepare me for surgery.

The “other room” was a cold and sterile environment filled with medical equipment. I was given a bed to lay on while a hefty dose of medicinal cocktails were prepared for me. “This is what you doctor order for you preop”, I was told by nurse Cratchett. Then an IV was inserted into my left hand, luckily it made it’s way in during the first attempt. The cool liquid began to flow into my arm and then I was given some Versed to ward off any second thoughts I may have been having. I was visited by an Anesthesiologist and cleared for surgery. Then at 10:40 am I was rolled into the coldest operating room I have ever encountered. It was filled with women! The entire team the was involved in my procedure were women! I joked about “women power”. I asked where the “robot” was that was the guest of honor during my surgery. It was a rather large and menacing looking device sitting in the corner of the OR.

Attendants scurried around to prepare the room for their work. The Anesthesiologist came up to my side with a slew of IV medications in her hand. She approached me in a very quiet manner and an oxygen mask was placed on my face. I kept on talking and asking questions, that’s me…can’t ever know enough! Soon I was experiencing the twilight zone start to impend upon me. Then I drifted off.

Several hours later I woke to a tube being pulled out of throat and my surgeon whispering in my ear “it was over and everything was a success”. A few minutes later something seriously happened. I heard people talking about me and alarms and buzzers going off. “I’m paging the Doctor” one nurse said. I could hear in her voice that something was wrong. I remember gasping for my breath but could not breathe, my heart was racing and I was in incredible pain. I began to moan and was given pain meds immediately. I was gasping for air and could not get any. Pain filled my body and abdomen, searing me like a knife. This episode went on for over four hours I was told. My mother was allowed to come by my side for only a moment. I remember her telling that “she needed me”. The rest was a blur.

The next thing I remember was being wheeled into my hospital room and placed on oxygen and other equipment. I was in tremendous pain, but was given pain meds within seconds of moaning. Sweat was running off my body profusely and the bedding beneath me was becoming saturated. “Take deep breaths, and try not to talk” I was told. My mother was by my side at this time. My husband was calling and was not able to get much info from anyone other than my mom. He was terrified I later learned. The rest of the evening and night became a blur. My family and friends had to leave, so I laid there and drifted in and out of a drug-induced sleep.

I did not find out what happened in the recovery room for several days. What went so wrong. What caused me to alarm everyone and cause such a ruckus? I am told that I had a “reaction” to a medication that was used to counteract the effects of anesthesia. My heart rate had gone up to over 200 beats per minute, my BP had dropped drastically low, and my oxygen level could not be maintained to over 70%. No wonder I was gasping and my chest was heaving. I am very lucky, my doctor returned quickly and acted fast to counteract this event.

Looking back over three weeks later, I cannot say that I would go through this again. I can only hope I made the right decision. Each day is a struggle to drink enough liquids and to be able to get enough protein in. I am a bit frustrated, hopefully it gets better every day.  :(